So it seems that just about everyone I know has a comment on my single status. Most of them married folks mind you. It’s been a little while now that i’ve been told that I need to lower my standards. While visiting an old friend in a country far far away, i was told that if I lowered my standards, finding a husband might be in my very near future. She told me the tale of not initially being attracted to her husband and in addition to many physical things, the creme de la creme being his unibrow, well some time passed, he was very into her and she finally sucombed and he was even willing to get rid of his unibrow, 6 to 8 laser treatments later, he is unibrow free, they have been happily married for 3+ years and have the cutest lil 14 month old. She did tell me that if there is one thing that she truly misses is romance, he is a great provider, but bats a zero on the romance side of things – i guess that’s where she lowered her standards (I’m sure that there must be more, but no one really shares EVERYTHING).
My nail lady, who i have known for a good few years keeps asking me when do I plan on getting married. Like i have dudes lined up, but i just keep turning them down. Not the case at all my friends. First of all i was in school for 6 years and while I dated and even had a relationship or two during that time, for the most part it was hard to meet people with my schedule, she of course knows this because i’ve been going to her for about 6 years. When i graduated this past may, she made sure to tell me that now that i was done with school, i had better use this free time to find a husband and try not to be so picky. Hmmmm thanks!
On sunday, i went to my trusted nail lady l and her brother in law did my pedicure, he too asked me if i was married, nope correction, he asked me what i was planning on getting my boyfriend for christmas, i told him that i did not have one, he too got on the band wagon of me lowering my standards. I mean like WTF people?
Listen to me now, i do want to get married, hell if time is on my side, even have another kid or two, honestly the older i get, maybe i would be just as happy in a fullfilling loving COMMITTED & FAITHFUL relationship.
So i’ll put it out there for my faithful readers, do you think that my standards are too high? All i want is a loving~ romantic~ committed~ faithful~educated (street smarts can sometimes trump book smarts, but NO ebonics)~ ambitous~ funny~ spiritual (don’t really care which religion as long as you believe in a high power, though paganism might not really work for me)~ tall(hell a few inches taller than me in my 3 inch heels is good enough for me)~ handsome and just a good guy over all. Hell i’d like him to be rich, but i’d settle for him making at least my salary or more (aint’ going into those numbers kids…y’all just nosey). I would like to know that at some point in his life he’s left U.S. soil and even owns a passport, i love to travel and going to jersey does not cut it for me. I’m not a great cook, so if you cook, i’ll clean, or hell, sharing chores is even better. I don’t mind a fixer up, really i don’t, but he has to be open to change and realizing that his way is not the only way (hell i’m sure that he could teach me a thing or two). All in all, i’m not looking for much, just a life partner, but as I settle nicely into my 30’s it seems as though EVERYONE wants to know why I am still single. I spoke to my godmother today and after a good 10 mins of conversation, bam! there went the question “So…tell me about your love life” I wish I had one to tell her about. While I don’t like being single, i realize that I don’t like dealing with bullshit even more. For those of you who said that I need to lower my standards, believe it or not, I have, back in the day, i would not give a chubby brother a chance, these days, well…i figure that we can hit the gym together. I’m one for nice teeth, always have, always will be, but over the summer i was introduced to a guy with the worst teeth ever, correction, they were not badly shaped, but he had smoked for a long period of time and his teeth showed it, but I was willing to look past that thinking it’s nothing a few teeth whitening session couldn’t fix, but when he spoke to me and every other word was a F@ck here and a F@ck there, i figured that was just too much for me. I’m not really sure what the answer is honestly, but i do know for a fact, that after kissing more frogs that any one girl should, i’m more than happy to welcome MY king, the one that was put aside for me. My Mister Right…yeah i know he’ll come with his own set of baggage and his own issues and his past, but as long as he is committed to me and to us, i believe that there is nothing that we won’t be able to get through.
Comments kids?
i dont think u should u lower ur standards. settling for less than u want may leave u unhappy and resentful in the long run
From reading your posts, u strike me as a very superficial woman. Maybe that’s y you haven’t found anyone yet. sometimes some self reflection can go a long way. just saying…..
Rocksy…am i really superficial or just honest? There are a lot of women out there that thing just like me, but because they don’t want to be judged they won’t admit and that’s fine, this society is a very judgemental one, but i’m going to be very honest with myself in what I look for. You don’t have to agree and don’t have to like it, but there here blog is so that I can just get things off of my cheast and say how i feel, so i really don’t care what you think in the end. I’ve done enough self reflection to know what I want and what i will not stand for or will not be happy with, with that said, if i have to be single much longer, so be it, but i will not lower my standards or compromise myself.
How do you always attract the lunatics? Wooow.
As for superficial, hmmmm, lemme see:
She says she’d like to be in a FULLFILLING AND COMMITTED relationship. –> which single female who is looking for the right one, doesn’t want that?
She says she’d like for him to be educated –> who the hell wants to date the looser of are you smarter than a fifth grader? Not I!
I mean let’s stop the pretense, we live in a class system – plain and simple. Why should women continue to settle when and if we are not forced to? We allow ourselves to fall for men who don’t uplift or enhance us, spiritually, mentally or financially; and then we turn around and blame them.
NO! Start off with a declaritive assesment of where you are and where you’d like to be and know this definitively and you will hopefully have a better perspective of what you deserve.
Men have no quams stating similar sentiments and yet we blindly accept it as “men being men”. Yet if a woman has certain specifications in what she’d like in a mate, she’s considered superficial. In this day and age, why continue to make the same dumbass mistakes when dealing with men? If her expectations are too high, then she’ll quickly realize it and either deal with it or continue to hold out and raise cats.
If you don’t like what you read on this blog, throw your deuces up and beat your feet.
Mssweetness08, are you sure Ms.Rocksy isn’t that infamous blog prowler?
mssweetness, it seems that you an cuzzo have this thing figured out so I will apologize for my response.
cuzzo, it is not a matter of liking or disliking what mssweetness writes on her blog. the fact of the matter is that she writes a blog to PUBLICLY air her feelings and sentiments and then invites comments/replies.
I have a blog as well and sometimes i don’t agree with the feedback either, but it’s part of the blog game.
cuzzo, u seem angry. r u okay???
Rocksy, give me a break dude.
No one has time for anger hun. You’re the one who came off judemental and so I responded. Plain and simple. I have no time for empty-angry over blog comments. It really isn’t that deep. Nothing I said was anger enduced – just plain old fact.
It indeed is a public forum, but let’s stop trying to over analyze someone’s response, with pseudo social work skills. Focus on the man in the mirror.
I too have been bloggin for a while, so I know how the game works.
And if I feel like defending MY cuz, so be it.
You must like the banter on this here superficial blog because here you are – once again.
Keep coming back though, I like a hearty back and forth. Doesn’t bother me any. You know why Rocksy? Cause you So Special. You so Special, so special, so special.
Cuz, pls post some more so that we can engage Ms. R with a little superficial love.
If she thinks you’re “superficial” what she would say bout my little blog. lawwwwwd.
See you soon, Ms.R!
Smooches.
Cuzzo.
You know what Rocksy, i’m not even mad at you, you are right (to an extend) this is a public forum and i can not censor what people say. It’s like those loonies that go on Jerry SPring and when the audience has somthing to say, the guest start to curse them. Well jackass sleeping with your brother wife, if you are on national TV telling you business, you must expect that folks will have an opinion. I’m just a grown woman who knows what I want from a man for my life – you don’t have to like it, you don’t have to agree with it. But when i make the decision to be with a man in a committed relationship, i would like for him to meet my criteria as i’m sure that when he (whoever he might be) is looking for his partner he has a criteria that he would like for her to meet. It’s just that plain and simple.